Previously on Game of Thrones – Dorn sucks and Martell’s are dead, Davos vs Sir Douche, Malisandre is a Hagraven, Arya (Missed Arya last week sorry bros) is a beggar, Sansa and Theon unite with Phasma and Pod, The Uneasy, Mysterious and I’m poo scared what’s gonna happen Cersei and Jaime, Tyrion and Varys battle an unknown but supposed enemy and Jorah and Big D are going after Dany who has been captured by the Aquamen.
Now The Wall (The North) is going to be the location of the season I believe and I would speculate if I believed in that sh!t that can raise expectations and smash you like you’re a me as a child so we’re moving on. Davos is locked up in a room with some of The Watch and dead Jon. Sir Douche awaits outside with (Self titled) Sir Oli of the Cockblock and his mates. They have ran out of patients though I don’t know how they can get tired of listening to Davos’ voice. I sometimes listen to a super cut of his lines and it send s me to sleep and I have lovely dreams of bread #foodofthegods. Sir Douche begins to nock down the door when BOOM! Wildlings Mother Teresa! Wun Wun Mother Teresa! Tormund Mother Teresa! And Sir Douche and his merry men are sent south #speculation. And nothing else at The Wall happened this episode. Nothing at all…
The Bolton’s (A little R&R)
So yeah. I did some speculation last Sunday before I watched this episode. Now I believe this would’ve been better than what actually happened with these lot so I’m just going to throw it out there.I said that Roose’s son would be a boy and then Ramsay would kill his father and his fathers wife and his newly born brother. I thought this particular speculation of mine would’ve been a good idea and would’ve boosted Ramsay’s evil factor up to max (I hope it’s max). HAHAHAHA! If you’re not a fool then you would realised that’s what did happen though I did speculate it would happen the day before. However I did not expect it to happen so soon. Though I did think it was in Ramsay’s character to feed a new born baby to the hounds #speculation #bringbackthehound.
Sansa, Theon and The Greyjoys
Fun fact: My zodiac sign says I’m in House Greyjoy. Yay. I guess. Better then Tully’s. Nevertheless! I was only a short scene with Sansa in this episode, however it was sweet. We see once more and more in our faces (which is a good thing) how grateful she is of Theon for helping her out and she’s sad when he leaves to go “home”. Holy sh!t I literally only just got why they called it home. I’ve been thinking why since I watched it. Ha! Bless my dumb ass. Anyway yeah Theon leaves for Pyke and Sansa stays with Captain Phasma and Pod #firstorderftw. Meanwhile at Pyke we finally catch up with the Greyjoys. We really needed a sideshow e.g. Keeping up with The Greyjoys we actually are shocked or even give a damn when Lord Greyjoy is pushed off a cliff by a guy who needs a shave. I know this is a big character in the books and I look forward to seeing him in future episodes and then never seeing him for 10,000,000 seasons because the show hates the Greyjoys. Jokes. Also Theon’s sister is after grizzly dude. Cool I guess.
Now then now then. Hmmm. Never mind. Wow. The king landing stuff in this episode was awesome. We got to see some Frankenmountain as he smashes a dudes head against a wall and kills him in one go. Awesome. Tomen the Pu$$y King bans his mother from her daughters funeral then goes and seeks her forgiveness. What a great son he is. Ahhh. PUDOLLARDOLLARY! Also we get a scene with Jaime and Commodore Swan and his band of bald Lancel’s. This scene was really tense and I actually had the feeling Jaime was going to die. If not that, this season someone of importance in Kings Landing is going to die #sorryforthespeculation. Also for the record of the last episode HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID THE SANDSNAKES SNEAK ON THE BOAT?! IT WAS ALL THE WAY OUT INTO THE OCEAN AND THEN THEY WERE IN KINGS LANDING! WHERE ARE THEY JOW?! DAMNIT DORN! Anyway, no Dorn this week. Yaaaaay! National Holiday! Party time!
Arya, Tyrion and Bran
As last weeks scene with Arya was pointless and was basically to establish the state she is in but this week she looks like she’s making a little progress. No she doesn’t kick ass but she is further down the road to becoming a faceless man and learning the secret of the dragon scroll. Tyrion’s scene was awesome. He makes friends with dragons! EH! That’s awesome! There’s some awesome comparisons between himself and the dragons and that’s what makes the scene awesome. Also the fact that he disses Greyworm for having no grey worm and gives Varys permission to punch him in the face. Classic Tyrion. Bran scene was the best part of the episode I think. We got to see Hodor as a lil Bruce Willis and… well let’s just say… R + L = J. Am I right? Am I right? Yeeeees.
In my opinion one of the best episodes I can remember and just like last week, now its time for a fortune telling. Tyrion will ride a dragon, Sir Douche will rally with Ramsay, Theon will IDK, Sansa’s on her way to the wall, Arya will become Daredevil, Bran will IDK, Kings Landing is just scary right now and Dany and Jorah? Maybe next week. Yes I am not bringing up Dorn. What an episode. Non stop thrills and deaths and resurrections…
Game of Thrones: Season 6 Episode 2 “Home” – 9/10
Wait what? Resurrections? Oh yeah… JON SNOW LIVES MOTHER TERESA’S!!!!!!!!!