We’ve all been waiting for Season 6 ever since the every last episode of Season 5 where we saw Jon Snow (Ned Starks supposed bastard child) was betrayed and murdered by his Nights Watch chums. Well boys and girls now the day has come when we finally get to watch Game of Thrones Season 6…
The episode opens with what is clearly seen as an increase in budget as we are taken along the wall and are presented with Jon’s dead corps. He is soon found by Davos of Onions (YEAH! GO DAVOS!) and is taken inside by him and his few Nights Watch friends. I don’t know about you but Davos is defo a top 10 character for me and to see him take on Sir Doucheface at the wall all smug and that was great to see. But I do think it was pretty cool how Sir Doucheface just straight up admitted to everyone that he killed Jon (even if he did grass up everyone except Oli in doing so). They do leave this storyline on a cliff-hanger with Davos and Doucheface going to fight each other but hopefully the wildlings will be around to help. Never the less its going to go down! Oh yeah and Malisandre is a Hagraven. Don’t know about everyone else but I felt sorry for her in that scene. Poor cow 😥 Plus this moment had a good score to it.
Sansa and Reek (Scrap that) SANSA AND THEON!!! +Boltons
Yes muthas, Theon’s back. Has it really been since Season 2 Theon has been an arse and now he’s coming to his own. Anyway, Sansa and Theon have just escaped Ramsay by killing his GF who he gives no F’s about (“She’s good meat feed her to the hounds”) #classicramsay. Anyway the scene between him and Mr Ramsay was awesome. Mr Ramsay just kept his cool as Ramsay was there logging himself. I love Mr Ramsay (I know his name’s Roose). Sansa and Theon cross an icy lake and we see Theon comforting Sansa in the froze snow which is awesome to see. Then he straight up sacrifices himself for Sansa (without dying) before Captain Phasma and Pod arrive and save the day and Phasma finally pledges herself to Sansa #actingonpoint #lovesophieturner Probably my fav part of this episode. Again this moment had a good score to it.
Kings Landing and Dorne
Well since Myrcella died and Jaime had to return her dead corpse to Cersei, we kind of knew things weren’t going to go well. But I was pleasantly surprised at how Cersei was effected by it. I presumed she’d immediately be planning revenge but she was simply stuck on the fact she had but one child left. The scene between her and Jaime was touching and incest as always. Margery is in a cell but that scene was kind of pointless but glad we know what she’s up to (basically what I’m doing every Saturday night). Now then *ahhh* Sandsnakes and Dorne are messing up (I would use worse words) the show again. WTF is going on? I thought to myself well at least something is happening now but then I stopped and thought. They’re meant to be avenging Oberyn right? THEN WTF WOULD YOU EXTINCT HIS HOUSE! KILL HIS BROTHER AND NEPHEW! KILL A LITTLE GIRL EVEN THOUGH THAT WENT AGAINST WHAT OBERYN WAS ABOUT! IT WASN’T EVEN THE MARTELLS OR THE LANNISTERS FAULT, OBERYN VOLUNTEERED TO FIGHT THE MOUNTAIN SO ITS ON HIM SO WTF ARE YOU DOING B!TCH!!! *Deep breath*
Tyrion and Varys
Now these two are the definition of the dream team. These two are going to be like Sherlock and Watson and are going to get down to the bottom of the Sons of the Herpes. Its just a short scene between these two legends but its sweet and I believe its what it is needed to set up their story arch for the rest of the season. Some banter goes down about Tyrion eating babies and Varys having no penis but poo soon goes down as we see the harbour has been set on fire. Some people ay its the dragons I say they are fools cause its obviously the Sons of the Herpes cutting of Essos (I think its Essos) from the rest of the world. One of the most interesting parts of their scene was an over the shoulder shot of somebody watching Tyrion and Varys. Who is this person? Is it the Sons of the Herpes? My guess is its a bad person but not a Son of the Herpes because it lingered on the shot for some time and was very mysterious I think for it just to be a Son of the Herpes. Who? No idea #mostseriousparagraphihavewrittensofar.
Dany and Jorah
so lest time we saw Dany she was left by Dragon Drogon and was being circled by Dothraki. Yes the Dothraki are back which is good good good good good good news because the Dothraki (If I may say so myself) are awesome badasses with hair I am totally jealous of. So Jorah and Big D are tracking down Dany when they find her ring and in doing so find out that the Dothraki have nicked her. Then we see Dany with the Dothraki and we see some humour included in them which I believe was a poor decision as I wanted the Dothrakis to be pure badasses who fight and … ya know. Anyway, I’m not a screenwriter so who am I to judge. But to be honest from this I only see what is going to be another boring Dany storyline where they’re adventuring to the Widows Club and nothing else will happen. Bu we shall see…
I think that’s all we got from this weeks episode and yes this review is late but I didn’t have the time all lies I couldn’t be arsed. Anyway I think this was a really great episode and I think I liked it more than most. Just as you thought Game of Thrones could only surprise you with deaths they change a character completely. This episode has given us a great start and a glimpse of what our characters will be doing this season. The Watch turing on itself. The Boltons pursuing Sansa, Theon, Pod and Phasma.Dany waiting on Drogon to save her from the Aquamans. Jorah and Big D going after her. Tyrion and Varys search for the cure for Herpes. Cersei and Jaime falling deeper into the pit of chaos #seasontworeference #chaosisaladder. Dorn. Hopefully next week we get some Bran action and catch up with the Greyjoys but all in good time. However there is still one question unanswered … Will Jon return?
Game of Thrones: Season 6 Episode 1 “The Red Woman” – 8/10